I Can't be the Only Parent that Hates This...

I can see why the government is always trying to get teachers to negotiate during the summer.  Because the end of the summer is the absolute worst time for teachers to strike.  Even the best, most loving and patient parents are sick of their kids come September.  I am a flag-waving, die-hard union member, and I might not support a September strike.

Ann took 5 weeks off from daycare this summer.  I worked summer school in July, and then we had 2 weeks at home and 3 weeks away.  Our trip was amazing, and she and I- and Adrian and Maggie- had some incredible times together.  But I practically threw her at her teacher September 4.  And my child is a lovely, lovely child.  She doesn't hit, or bite, or yell, or tantrum (mostly).  My complaints include that she wants to practice the longest kisses in the world while I'm busy on my phone.  And that the game of trying to outdo each other in our declarations of love gets boring.  And while, arguably, she spent a lot of time with Aunties this summer- seriously- I'm so sick of playing games.  I'M SO SICK OF PLAYING HOUSE.  She always wants to play 'Mommy/Baby', and neither are good roles.  When I'm the baby I'm always confined to my room.  And being the Mommy involves carrying a lot of mewling dead-weight around.  That is all.  There is nothing else to that game.  She recently told a friend of mine that she's never allowed to play it, and this earned me some dirty looks- but honestly.  The 'baby' is always trying to breastfeed and I'm left cradling it around a grocery store as it digs in my shirt.  Or motorboat me.  I guess that makes me a selfish parent.  But this is how mature adults end up with hickeys.  Other game options include- 'Mommy/Baby Tiger', 'Mommy/Baby Dinosaur', and 'Mommy/Baby Doggy'.  I have a physical reaction to these suggestions that is much too strong to be healthy.  I feel like the WORST parent.

And why did no one prepare me for this?  We are all aware of the unfortunate baggage that comes with parenting; lack of sleep, exhaustion, taking 7 hours to get out of the house in the morning...  These grievances are on every list.  But I would add things like: bath toys that get slimy and eject black slimy particles out of their blow holes and into the bathwater.  And cleaning vomit out of carseat joins with a toothbrush.  And playing HOUSE.

Fortunately, she recently discovered that Maggie can be the Mommy Doggy; though Maggie's not that cooperative either.  She refuses to lay still while Ann cuddles up to her, knees and elbows all jammed into her tummy, waiting to be born.  Maggie just paces from room to room, casting baleful glances in my direction and sighing as her puppy drags along behind, clinging to her legs and ruff-ing.

There'd better be cookies involved after this.