She'll have it down to a science by 13.

So, my child lied to me.  And not the 'No, I'm not poopie' line that she sometimes pulls (or, as her cousin says "I'm not poopie.  Daddy is.").  I was washing the dishes and could hear her rustling around in the cat treats.  She sometimes does that, it's an activity similar to water-boarding, but with the cat and treats.  After multiple failed attempts to summon her (selective 2yr-old hearing. So. Frustrating.), she casually mosied over ('Oh, Hi Mom.  Gosh, were you calling me?'). 

"Ann, were you playing with the cat treats?"

"No Mommy."

"You know you're not supposed to."

"OK.  I understand Mommy.  Didn't do it."

I smelled her hands.  They reeked of horse hooves and pig snouts.  Or whatever they put in those things.  "I can smell cat treats on your hands Annie, were you playing with them?" 
To which she responded by rinsing her hands in the dishwater, drying them and then looking back up at me- very solemnly- and saying "No Mommy.  Wasn't playing with treats". 

The little turkey.  If she's starting this early, I'm doomed.

Stuff I Wrecked, and Then Hung on the Walls

I have been busy this month.  I am Martha-Stewarting-it-up.  Though Martha Stewart might Herself-it-up differently than I do.  For example, she might hone her culinary techniques by adding to her repertoire with new and exciting recipes, but I already have lots of exciting recipes.  So for me it means using the recipes I already have, but practicing them.  As anyone who has been over for dinner knows, I'm not naturally graceful in the kitchen.  I love to talk, but I can't multitask talk with cooking.  This means that as dinner nears, I get spastic and start using more pots.  So I've been doing cooking drills until I can make them in half the time, with half the stress and half the dishes.   My favourite recipes are all pastas with cream sauces, so October has become 'Honorary Dairy Month' as well as 'Starch Awareness Month: Are you getting enough pasta in your diet?'

I have also been crafting.  Or home decorating on a dime, as I like to think of it.  More dimes than necessary, because I keep wrecking stuff, but you get the idea.  Mainly, October's crafts have been 'Adventures in Modge-Podge'.  Modge Podge being a weird and complicated kind of glue.  What an exciting time October has been.

Light cover.  I believe my potential in this one is evident.

In this modge-podge I attempted tea-bagging the edges to make it look distressed (tea-bagging.  Where do crafters come up with these terms?  It's like they've never talked to 14yr old boys.  Click here for a more commonly used and lewd explanation of 'tea-bagging'.  Except you, Dad).  If you look closely on the far left, you can see the floral picture does look distressed, but not in the good way.  This was also an experiment in decorating.  Martha tells you to put dissimilar objects together to create decorative dissonance (she doesn't say that, I made that up).  I believe I have succeeded in that by placing together the distressed floral modge podge Fail, some dead coral that Adrian accidentally killed while fishing, and the smallest jug of barley wine ever.

More wall hangings.  I accidentally got newsprint on the one on the left, so I tried distressing it to hide the letters.  Martha makes tea-bagging look so easy.

Well.  It's better than blank walls.

That's like, a haunch.

As many of you know and have written in your calendar, it's my birthday coming up.  It's a pretty big one actually.  I'll be turning 31, and as you might remember, three and one are both prime numbers.  Additionally, 3+1=4 and four is the sum of one and three, which are also both prime numbers.  As you can see, it's a pretty big year to be celebrating.

I got some birthday money in the mail yesterday.  Obviously my first reaction was to put it against debt.  Because I'm responsible like that.  But after thinking about it long and hard for four minutes (which is the sum of three and one) I decided to start an account to facilitate getting my new dog.  I will have to be very diligent about saving as Mr. EI doesn't give me much to start with, and that kid down the street keeps stealing my lunch money.  This week I might even donate our grocery money to the fund.  Ann doesn't need to eat.  She'll have lots of candy to eat by next week anyways.

Anyways, I have approx. 1/4 of a new dog saved already.  Or 1/6, depending on the breeder.  Adrian is so excited he can barely contain himself.  I suspect he's already planning on donating his birthday money as well.  He does have a big birthday coming up.  Forty is directly divisible by five.