Look How Well My Child Sleeps While I Shine Bright Lights in Her Face

So, I wake up out of a dead sleep on my child's bed, with her yammering away beside me- still awake, obviously, and doing her best to scrape the mascara off the inside of my lashes.  And her chances of actually getting to sleep are considerably slimmer given that I just started awake and yelled "sh!t!" into her face.  And that's because while I was dozing, I realized that I forgot my specialist's appointment today and I can't remember what their cancellation fee is.  And I can't believe that all this time I've been trying to coax her into a sleepy state and not only has she been resisting me every step of the way, but as soon as I (almost immediately) dropped off into a three-glass-o'-wine-snooze, she started creeping her plastic doll's fist into my ears and nostrils.  And now she'll be up for ages, all jazzed by my cursing.

I've included a couple of photos to show what the opposite is like; when I'm awake and Ann is asleep, cross-hatched with her ankles across my throat, or worming her feet down into my sports bra because her toes are cold.  She also finds it very comforting to sleep with her hands around my throat.  Like- in a choke hold.  Given my self-diagnosed Nocturnal Anxiety Disorder (more on that here, and here), this can be very alarming to wake up to.  Equally as alarming is when she then whispers- hoarse in her groggy state- "You're so hot Mommy, you're so hot".  She, of course, means that the warmth of my throat is very soothing, but it is creepy and makes me uncomfortable nonetheless.  I will not even get started on what she does when her hands are actually cold and need a more thorough warming.  That habit requires an entire post all its own.

Ignore that I look like malarky in these photos.  The point is not what I look like in the middle of the night (when I'm taking photos of myself, like all normal people do).  The point is that three-year-olds have no regard for the fact that they are already pushing the boundaries by being in your bed in the first place.  And that whether she's asleep and I'm awake, or I'm asleep and she's awake; I'm uncomfortable.

Immediately after this shot, Adrian sat bolt upright in bed and asked, "Did you just take a f@ck!ng photo at 3am?"



I sent this one to Adrian when I was in PEI so that he could see all the fun sleep he was missing out on.  Given the 4-hour time difference, he received it at a reasonable hour, and so some of my frustration would have been lost in translation. 
Seriously- what is my face doing in this photo?  Who do I turn into while I sleep/not sleep?  How alarming.

I should point out that early morning snuggles make it all worthwhile...

Hand near the throat!  Look how uncomfortable I am!