Seven Year Olds- Surprisingly Shifty.

A post I started on friday:

I worked today.  I know, I'm surprised too.  I had a day subbing at one of the local religious private schools.  It's like...another world there.  One I'm not familiar with.  This was my second day there, I'd had one day a few months ago, and it was the easiest day I'd ever taught.  Classes with 7 and 8 kids in them.  Kids that don't chew gum, or swear at you or throw chairs.  During my first block on that day I'd thought I'd heard music, a muffled noise.  I went on the prowl, searching out the perpetrating cell phone.  Of course it was the gospel choir practicing downstairs.  And that's when I realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore.


So I was back there today, it was pretty much the same.  The kids listened, they did their work, they let me boss them around.  And then they thanked me.  It's pretty much unheard of.  There was obviously the occasional snark or mean girl, but we are talking about a room full of teenagers, so that's pretty par for the course.  Is it the fear of God that makes them such delightful learners?  But then after lunch I had to cover 45min of grade one.  I have no experience with seven-year olds.  I have no idea how they operate.  They are like feral cats- unpredictable, full of bacteria, and given to biting.  I tried not to notice when they ignored my instructions, because how are you supposed to discipline them?  Can you just treat them like mini-teenagers?  I know what to do when someone swears or fights in class or refuses to give me their cell phone (though, if I recall, going into the sweater after the cell phone is not the right action to take), but a small child that won't stop tilting his chair?  Totally perplexed.  If I speak sternly will he cry or bite me?  They're shifty that way.  The teacher was fifteen minutes late coming back to the class and by then the students had been staring up at me blankly for several of those.  Many of them with fingers in their noses.  They were getting restless and I was trying to decide what mutiny looked like at the Grade One level.  I was close to peeing my pants.

Anyways, in other news there is a maternity leave for Grade One coming up at that school.   Adrian thinks I should apply as it would be perfect for me (read: involve regular paychecks), but I'm not sure I've come around on it yet.  I picture it as full days of tattle tale-ing and surprise boogers (Surprise!  There's a booger on the back of that chair you're holding!), but he's right, at this point gainful employment is better than sitting at home, cleaning up boogers and not getting paid for it.